The only seven life choices you need to make

Your life is what you choose it to be

What is the single most important force that shapes the quality of your life?

It’s not your dreams, your desires, your goals, or even your circumstances.

It’s your seemingly tiny, everyday choices that determine how your life unfolds.

Your ability to choose is your superpower.

It’s also one of our three fundamental psychological needs.

But how much attention do you actually give your choices?

And where’s the ‘decision-making skills’ program in our schools?

It’s non-existent.

Instead, we’re left to fumble through life making bad decision after bad decision because we were never taught a better way.

To simplify things as you tap into this amazing superpower, I’m going to share with you the only seven choices that really matter in life.

1. Choose wisdom over pain

Choice number one, what will you pass on?

What are you going to share with those around you?

What are you going to pass on to your kids?

Are you going to focus on all the terrible things that have ever happened to you?

Are you going to insist that everyone around you shares in your misery?

Or are you going to:

• extract the lessons from your life,
• value the wisdom you’ve acquired,
• recognise the skills you now have, and
• bless everyone around you with those instead?

So choose wisdom over pain.

2. Choose your words carefully

Choice number two, what do you say?

How do you speak to yourself and others?

Do your words express negativity, displeasure, or annoyance?

After all, we have a lot of words in our language to eloquently express our outrage.

Or do you choose to find uplifting, positive, optimistic words?

Every word you use holds immense power.

You can sour the mood in an instant, or you can brighten someone’s day simply with the words you choose.

So choose your words carefully.

3. Choose love over fear

Choice number three, how do you feel?

What emotions dominate your daily inner landscape?

Are you going to let yourself dwell in fear, anger, or shame?

Feeling bad certainly seems easier than feeling good.

After all, there’s lots of reasons to stay exactly where we are.

Or will you choose to see things from a better place, working yourself towards feelings like hope, passion, or love?

The universe gave us this power of choice, and it’s up to us to wield that power and have faith that we can make things better.

So choose love over fear.

I’ve even created a handy emotional scale that shows you how to work yourself into a better place.

4. Choose to take responsibility

Choice number four, what do you control?

What parts of your experience do you own?

Are you going to throw up your hands and blame the government, your family, the world, or the mischievous elves for your misfortunes?

There’s certainly a lot that feels out of our control.

Or are you going to finally accept responsibility for your experience?

That you are responsible for everything you think, feel, and do.

That no matter what happens to you, you control your experience of it 100%, and that’s actually all you control.

So choose to take responsibility.

5. Choose your attitude

Choice number five, how do you see things?

Is your glass half empty or half full?

Are you going to spend your days playing the victim, feeling sorry for yourself, or being angry at everyone who ever did wrong by you?

You may very well be justified in seeing things that way.

Or are you going to make the best of every situation?

Find the silver lining.

Take everything as a challenge or an opportunity to improve.

The colour of your glasses can completely change your experience of life.

So choose your attitude.

6. Choose integrity

Choice number six, who will you be?

Who are you?

What do you value?

What do you stand for?

Will you compromise your values to avoid conflict, make life easier, or avoid the consequences of your choices?

It’s certainly the easy choice.

Or will you stand up for what you believe in, decide to be honest with yourself and the world, choose to stay the course no matter how difficult?

Will you refuse to force others to ride rough shot over their own beliefs?

Will you respect yourself and everyone around you?

If you’re not true to yourself, then who are you?

So choose to live in integrity.

7. Choose gratitude

Choice number seven, can you see the gift?

Do you spend your time grumbling about your losses, your failures, your lacks?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the human experience it’s that there will always be things that don’t work out as we’d hoped.

Are you able instead to see the value in every moment?

To appreciate the uniqueness of every day, every person, every experience, to be grateful for your life in all of its shades and be thankful for everything.

This life truly is a gift, and when we see it as such, everything improves.

So choose gratitude.

A quick recap

So the only seven life choices that really matter are to:

1. Choose wisdom over pain
2. Choose your words carefully
3. Choose love over fear
4. Choose to take responsibility
5. Choose your attitude
6. Choose to live in integrity, and
7. Choose gratitude

What next?

• Look at the seven areas, and observe what you’re currently choosing in each of them
• Pick one area where you’re not making the best choices for your wellbeing or success
• Explore ways to make better choices in this area, and start trying them out
• Keep practising the skills necessary to improve your life choices
• When you’ve mastered one area, move onto the next
• Notice how your life begins to change in response to your choices

To start feeling better right away, read this article next to discover six easy methods for changing how you feel using my ‘onion’ framework.

And I’ll see you in the next one.