You’ve missed the point of meditation…
When you first start learning to meditate, it’s easy to think that you’ll quickly slip into some kind of blissful, god-like state where you achieve inner peace.
But you’re completely wrong.
In fact, for most people, starting to meditate is something more akin to banging your head on a post (and possibly almost as painful).
Your thoughts whirl like crazy, you have a million other things to get done today, and then you suddenly remember that you forgot to feed the dog.
But before you give up completely on meditation, and go bang your head on the nearest pole in frustration, let me share with you:
- What the true purpose of meditation is
- Why achieving this instead will completely transform your life, and
- Three easy ways you can start doing this right now
When I first started meditating it was absolute hell.
I’d sit down to meditate and instantly, my mind would fill with a million things that absolutely, definitely HAD to be done RIGHT NOW!
“Darn, I forgot to answer that email from work.”
“Shivers, did I pay that electricity bill?”
“I must remember to buy tissues.”
No matter how small it was, THAT was the precise moment when these thoughts chose to pop into my head.
It was all I could do not to jump up and deal with this suddenly pressing task, every single freaking time.
And sometimes I utterly failed. I got up and did the thing, just to get it out of my head.
But guess what? Something else equally compelling just swooped in and replaced it.
It was SUPER frustrating. How was I ever going to succeed at meditation?
It was only after I’d been meditating for years that I finally realised the true purpose of meditation.
It’s not to stop your thoughts and achieve that elusive state of calm.
That’s totally the wrong way to look at it, especially when you’re just starting out.
The only thing you’re trying to do is tame your mind.
What do I mean by that?
I mean, you let the thoughts come, and you do your darndest to ignore them.
And you keep doing this, over and over and over and OVER.
Sometimes you’ll fail, and that’s OK. You’ll get distracted, you’ll get up, and you’ll stop meditating.
That’s totally normal and expected, I promise.
And then sometimes, you’ll succeed.
You’ll manage to have a thought, and you don’t do anything about it.
You notice the thought, but you manage to keep sitting there anyway.
And after you’ve had that thought, you’ll bring your attention back to whatever you were focusing on, and keep going.
And then you’ll do that again, and again, and again, and again.
I think you get the gist. But here’s where the magic happens.
As you slowly learn to have thoughts without reacting to them, over time, you’ll have fewer thoughts.
But even more importantly, your thoughts no longer control you.
And THAT’S hitting the jackpot.
So why is it so important to tame the mind?
Think about it (there goes that mind again!)
If you react to every thought you have, as if it’s totally critical and MUST be dealt with immediately, who’s in charge?
You? I don’t think so.
Your mind’s the one running the show. You’re just it’s willing puppet.
“Here, do this. Now do this. Go over here. Look at that. Jump monkey, jump!”
And that is a VERY dangerous place to be.
Why?
Because that means that whatever you think you:
- take it as gospel truth
- act on without even thinking
- and potentially mess things up
because, believe it or not, your mind doesn’t know everything.
It’s just working with the available information, filtered through a lifetime of crud – all your traumas, beliefs and bad habits.
And so these are the three KEY skills you’ll develop as you continue to practise meditating.
- You turn down the volume on those thoughts, so they don’t happen as much
- You practise catching your thoughts as they happen so you have some chance of examining them critically, and
- You give yourself just enough breathing room to consciously CHOOSE what to do in response
And THAT is life-changing.
Suddenly, you’re no longer at the mercy of your thoughts.
You can have a thought, and decide to disregard it.
You can feel an impulse, and decide to resist it. “
Maybe I won’t eat the entire tub of ice-cream.”
You can catch yourself about to blow $1000 at the casino and think better of it.
You can be in the middle of a heated argument, and stop an angry retort before it permanently damages your relationship.
You’re in control. Not your mind.
And as an added bonus, maybe one day your mind will quiet down enough that you actually get to experience inner peace.
But don’t worry about that right now!
So how do you even begin to tame your mind?
Well, even just being aware that that’s the true goal of meditation is a HUGE first step.
So, WOO HOO, you’ve already done that!
But the next time you sit down to meditate, those intrusive thoughts will be right back.
So here’s three tricks you can try to calm those monkeys down.
First, have a notepad handy.
This is for that belligerent thought that WILL NOT shut up, and to your rational mind, actually seems kind of important.
Get it out of your head by writing it down.
That way, you know you won’t forget about it, but you don’t have to urgently deal with it right now.
Yes, I’m saying give yourself permission to “break” your meditation, but that’s only because this allows you to go straight back into it with minimal disruption and a clearer head.
It’s a more concrete way of practising the art of noticing your thoughts but not actually doing anything about them in the moment.
And sooner than you think, you won’t need this trick any more.
Secondly, keep your “WHY” in mind.
Why do you want to meditate?
Maybe it’s for all of the scientifically-proven benefits.
Maybe you’re super stressed and you just need to turn the intensity down.
Maybe you’re just looking for a way to feel better about life.
Whatever’s driving you to sit down and meditate, keep that reason in mind and use it to keep your butt planted, and push through those challenging moments.
It’ll be worth it, I promise.
Finally, embrace the chaos.
Celebrate your frantic thoughts.
Why?
Because every time a thought intrudes is another opportunity to practise ignoring it.
So the more crazy thoughts you have, the more times you get to hone your skills, and the sooner you’ll be the one in control of your mind.
“So bring it on, mind! The more you throw at me, the sooner I win!”
Let those thoughts slide off you, swipe left and teach your mind who’s the boss.
I even have a free resource that will help you succeed at meditation:
A quick recap
- The purpose of meditation is to tame the mind
- You need to tame your mind so you’re the one in control of your life
- When you’re meditating, use tricks to keep you there e.g. a notepad, your “why” and embracing the challenge
What next?
- During meditation, try letting your mind do whatever it wants – just don’t engage with anything it does
- Give yourself permission to meditate “imperfectly”, and do whatever you have to make it work for you
- Dig your heels in and decide that you’re not going to let your mind control you any more
But once you’ve tamed your mind with meditation, if you don’t figure out how to put your mind to work in the right way, then all your hard work will have been in vain, and you’ll find yourself eating that whole tub of ice-cream after all.
So in my next newsletter, I’ll show you:
- What your mind is REALLY for
- Three ways you can start putting this into practice right away
- How tapping into the power of your ego mind can transform your life
And now I’m going to go feed the dog!
And I’ll see you next time.
