How to feel better instantly and transform your life
If I told you that feeling good was the key to having everything you ever wanted, would you believe me?
Probably not.
But it’s true.
I’m going to share with you:
- Why how you feel makes all the difference in the world
- Three essential concepts about feeling good that will change the way you see yourself forever
- A simple two-step process for feeling better right now
- And six easy ways to shift your energy, packaged up in my easy to remember onion framework
Look, I get it.
You’re going through a rough time, feeling low like nothing’s ever going to get better.
I’ve been there.
Ten years ago, I found myself $200,000 in debt with a failing business, a mortgage to pay, and a young family to support.
Every day, I woke up terrified that we were going to lose our house and feeling like there was no way out.
It was pure hell. Ultra painful, physically and emotionally.
But I’d also learned these concepts I’m about to share with you, and I worked hard every day to find ways to feel better.
I took one small, difficult step at a time, but things gradually kept getting better and better.
Today, we’re completely debt free, I wake up every day feeling hopeful, and my life has become amazing in so many ways, both internally and externally.
So why is how you feel so important?
Well, you know what it’s like to feel bad.
Your energy is low, your thoughts are unhelpful, and you can’t see a way forward.
You’re feeling all kinds of unpleasant emotions, and every which way you turn, there’s something else going wrong.
1. You can’t engage with life
For starters, when you’re feeling like this, you lose access to your ability to understand and engage constructively with what’s happening to you.
You’re shut down, in protection mode, and just can’t see or think about things from a useful perspective.
You’re in survival mode, naturally, and so you’re blind to possibilities and strategies, perversely making it harder to change anything about your situation.
2. You can’t let life in
Secondly, feeling low restricts the flow of energy into your life.
What do I mean by that?
When you’re feeling low, you’re cutting yourself off from the world, blocking options and experiences that could actually help.
You don’t feel able to receive support, let alone ask for it, and you’re so wrapped up in how bad you feel that you miss the subtle cues from the universe
nudging you towards a better outcome.
You can’t hear your guidance and you’re not open to anything.
You’re missing out on so much.
3. It feels bad
Thirdly, feeling bad just feels bad.
“I’d like to feel even worse,” said nobody ever.
I talk in more detail about what your emotions are trying to tell you in my previous newsletter, but basically, you’re feeling these emotions as a way to prompt you to change something.
You’re supposed to feel bad because it pushes you to do whatever it takes to feel better.
Because honestly, why would anyone want to keep feeling that way?
4. You get more to feel bad about
And finally, when you’re in a bad place, you tend to get more things to feel bad about.
Like the other day, when I got a really unhelpful reply to an email about a piece of software I needed support with.
You know the kind, the one that says,
“You’re stupid. Your question is dumb. You don’t need to know that. I know what’s best.”
That kind of really helpful email.
It put me in a right foul mood, and then the rest of my day proceeded to be full of other things to get annoyed about.
Constant interruptions, things breaking, running out of my favourite snacks, unexpected expenses.
You name it, it happily joined in the fray.
But the moment I realised what was happening, my singular goal became to find a way, any way, to feel even a little better so I could have more better-feeling things in my day instead of all this unnecessary drama.
And as soon as I worked my way into a better place, my day improved dramatically.
What happens when you feel good
So the reverse of all this is that when you feel good:
- You engage with life and handle things better.
- You allow possibilities to flow into your experience.
- You feel good. And who doesn’t want that?
- And you get more good things to feel good about.
Everything just works so much better.
When you understand the impact that feeling good or bad can have in your day, it’s natural to want to find ways to feel better, and I’ve got some of those to share with you in just a second.
Three essential concepts
But first, there’s three mind-blowing concepts I need to share with you.
1. Every moment is new
Number one is that every moment is a chance to create a new version of yourself.
You are not your emotions, your past, or your beliefs, and you’re not your future either.
All of those things are just things that happened in some previous moment or may happen in some future moment.
But in each and every single current moment, the “now”, you have the opportunity to choose something new, to forget what’s gone before and be something different.
To let go of the stories and excuses and limiting beliefs.
To say, “That was then, but this is now, and now I choose this.”
It seems simple, but it’s actually an incredibly powerful way to see yourself.
In each moment, you get to create yourself anew, again and again and again.
Really let that sink in.
2. You get to choose
Number two is that you get to choose what you focus on.
You get to choose your story, your experience, your identity.
And I’m not talking about a wishy-washy choice like which socks to wear or what to have for dinner.
I’m talking about those life-changing in-a-heartbeat type choices that define you.
“I will never speak to myself that way again.”
“I’m the kind of person who takes responsibility for their actions.”
Those defining moments when you choose who to be.
So in this current moment, decide who you are and give yourself permission to become that.
Choose which thought to focus on, which story to tell yourself, which belief to feed.
It’s all down to you. And you have that power.
Okay, ready for the last one?
3. You must prioritise feeling good
Number three is that nothing is more important than feeling good.
And I mean NOTHING.
This one can be really hard for people to swallow, including me, because it seems like it’s all about self-indulgence.
“Eat whatever you want, take drugs, sleep around, party on.”
But it’s not that kind of feeling good.
That kind’s fleeting and leaves you feeling hollow, and usually even worse afterwards.
I’m talking about long-term, sustainable good feelings.
Feelings that tell you you’re on track, aligned with your purpose, becoming the best version of you.
Feelings that lift you up, change your world view, and spill over into everything around you.
Because when you feel good, not only are you attracting even more things to feel good about, you’re becoming a force for good in the world and uplifting others.
And of course, it feels good.
So prioritise feeling good and watch everything change.
A simple two-step process for feeling better
So with these three world bending concepts in mind, let’s talk about the simple two-step process to start feeling better right now.
But I should warn you, this process might look simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Yes, you can do this right now, but what makes it challenging is that you have to implement those three concepts I just mentioned.
One, you have to be willing to see the possibility in this moment.
Two, you have to be willing to exercise your power of choice.
And three, you have to commit to doing whatever it takes to feel good.
Ready?
Step 1 – Find something that feels good
Step one of this process is to find something that offers a good feeling to you.
It might be your favourite song, a beloved pet, a beautiful flower, a sunny day.
The form it takes is irrelevant.
Just make sure it’s actually something that elevates and inspires.
No quick fixes here.
Look for things that are real and genuinely good for you.
And in the moment, it might be hard to find those things, so I suggest making a list as you learn more about what makes you feel good.
Keep that list handy and refer to it when you need to feel better.
Only you’ll know what needs to be on that list and be willing to let it change as you change.
Step 2 – Accept and match that feeling
Step two is to choose to accept that good feeling being offered and match it.
Instead of dismissing the proffered hug, ignoring the beauty in front of you, or curling your lip in disdain at all the “Pollyanna” positivity on show, you allow it in.
You open yourself up.
You accept the gift being offered and bask in it.
You see the goodness and you rise up to meet it.
See? Simple but not always easy.
Your mind will probably throw all kinds of reasons at you as to why this is dumb, or stupid, or embarrassing, or pointless, or annoying, or a waste of time, or icky, or lame, or whatever dismissive word it can conjure up.
And out of habit, it will be easier to believe those thoughts and deny yourself the chance to feel better.
That’s why it’s hard.
You have to make a different choice against all of your “better judgement”.
Because you’ve made a commitment doing whatever it takes to feel good, remember?
And how you respond is the only choice you have.
Everything you want is on the other side of that choice.
Simple ways to feel better now
Now, I want to give you some simple ways that you can start feeling better instantly, starting from things that are innermost and the most passive, all the way to very outward, active strategies, just like the layers of an onion.
Keep in mind that these are just examples of practises that many people have used to feel better, so try to feel inspired by them, not limited.
1. Be mindful
One of the most inward, passive things you can do to feel better is to practise mindfulness.
Simply become aware of how you’re feeling in the moment, what you’re experiencing.
Observe your thoughts, feelings, and actions impassively without judgement.
Notice your environment, your current situation, the people around you.
Focus on your breath, your body, your senses.
Don’t fight any of it, just acknowledge it and accept it.
Just letting things be as they are will allow you to begin feeling better right away.
2. Express gratitude
Moving slightly outward from there is the practise of gratitude.
With gratitude, we find things in our current experience to appreciate, no matter how big or small.
From huge moments like getting married to the tiniest thing like a smile from a friend, notice these positive things in your life and consciously acknowledge them.
Whether you write them down in a journal, use an app, or simply think them inside your head, express gratitude for these things wherever and whenever you can.
By feeling gratitude for things in our life, we’ve moved from just observing ourselves to consciously creating a positive emotion within us, and one that is super powerful, training our brains to see the positives everywhere and bringing us even more to be grateful for.
3. Use visualisation and affirmations
Getting even more active, we move to visualisations and affirmations.
Whether you imagine something amazing happening to you or repeat a positive statement to yourself over and over, you’re soaking your mind in positivity and actively creating a new experience.
There’s plenty of research that shows that our minds don’t distinguish between real and imagined experiences, provided they’re close enough to reality.
And the more senses you can involve in your imaginings, the more powerful an effect it has on our subconscious mind, permanently changing our beliefs and emotions.
Think of affirmations and visualisations as strength-building exercises for your mind and spirit.
4. Move your body
Now we move even further outward into actually moving our bodies.
Yes, physical exercise will actually make you feel better, and not just because of the endorphins that our bodies release during exercise.
Any movement helps your energy to move, making space for mental shifts and new experiences.
Getting your body moving also gets your emotions moving, so even just a little activity can be enough to set good feelings in motion.
And it doesn’t It doesn’t have to be super exhausting exercise either.
Even gentle movement like walking or yoga can work wonders.
Just make sure it’s a type of exercise you actually enjoy, otherwise it may do more harm than good.
5. Optimise your environment
The next strategy moves further outward into our environment.
What you surround yourself with has a huge impact on how you feel.
So be intentional about your environment.
- Hang out with good friends who lift you up.
- Consume good feeling news and media.
- Cover your walls with your favourite art.
- Wear your favourite clothes.
- Buy yourself your favourite flowers.
- Spend time in nature.
Change your environment and watch your feelings soar.
6. Start helping others
And the most active strategy you can use to start feeling better is to start helping others.
Put your focus on who around you, you can help.
Smile at a stranger.
Do something for someone else without expecting anything in return.
Give a gift for no reason.
Do random acts of kindness towards others, and you’ll immediately start feeling better.
By focusing on how you can be of service to others, you’re accessing the best version of yourself, becoming a force for good.
You’re also radiating positivity outwards, uplifting others, which in turn elevates you.
To help you feel even better, I’ve linked to a resource that will give you even more ways to feel good, no email required.
Keep in mind that none of these methods is better than the others.
They’re just different, so try them all out and see which ones work for you.
A quick recap
- How you feel affects everything that happens to you
- You must accept that every moment is new, you have the power of choice, and nothing is more important than feeling good
- To feel better, find something that feels good, then welcome and match that good feeling
- Use mindfulness, gratitude, visualisations, affirmations, movement, your environment and helping others to feel better right away
What next?
- Start paying attention to how you’re feeling, and the effect that has on your day
- Practise seeing every single moment as a new opportunity to improve things
- Tame your mind and take control of what you focus on, tell yourself and believe
- Make feeling good your number one priority
- Use the list of good-feeling activities to refocus you when you’re feeling low
- Welcome the good feelings and raise your energy to match them
But if you want to max out your good feelings, then you’re also going to need to understand what your emotions are trying to tell you.
So in this newsletter, I explain:
- the powerful message hidden in your emotions,
- how to use your emotions to improve your life,
- the one specific sensation you’re always aiming for, and
- which emotions you need to pay the most attention to
And now I’m going to go and appreciate this onion.
And I’ll see you next time.
