Stop shutting out your higher self’s wisdom
Learning to listen to your higher self is like getting the cheat codes to the game of life.
You get through each challenge faster, you get access to bonus resources, and you might just get some unexpected Easter eggs along the way.
- But what exactly is your higher self?
- How do you even know it’s talking to you?
- And what can you do to finally connect with it without having to become a hermit and go live in the Himalayas?
I was 12 years old when I first heard my higher self talking to me.
As a kid, I was responsible for feeding the goats we had on our hobby farm.
And on this particular day, I really, really didn’t want to lug the bowls full of grain out to them.
I was standing there considering cutting some corners when a voice spoke to me inside my head.
“Do you really think that’s such a good idea?”
Surprisingly, I didn’t freak out completely, I guess because somehow I knew it was actually a part of me.
And so began my relationship with what I called my “conscience” for many years because it always seemed to be focused on doing the right thing, instead of the easy thing.
Whether you call it your inner voice or your guidance, your soul, your bigger you, your spirit, or your eternal self, your higher self is the part of you that:
- sees things from a broader perspective,
- has access to useful information and insights,
- accompanies you everywhere and
- communicates with you constantly, whether you know it or not
One way to look at it, is as the counterpart to your daily self, the one running around like a headless chicken, doing stuff and fretting about things.
While your daily self is busy scrolling on your phone, your higher self is watching over you, keeping its eye on the bigger picture of your life and sending you subtle cues.
Why should we listen to our higher self?
But how often do we actually pay them attention?
Ignoring your higher self is a bit like trying to play the game of life, blindfolded, one-handed, and with spoons for fingers.
You’re just making it so much harder for yourself than necessary.
Our higher self can do all kinds of useful things for us, if we’ll only let it, like…
- warning us about imminent danger,
- helping us make difficult decisions,
- uncovering our unique talents,
- inspiring us to be more creative,
- showing us that we can trust ourselves,
- assisting us as we let go of our junk,
- supporting new habits we want to form,
- increasing our self-awareness,
- encouraging personal growth,
- leading us to peace and calm,
- nudging us onto our path,
- guiding us towards our purpose, our calling,
- connecting us to something bigger than ourselves.
One of my lessons in this lifetime is learning to listen to my guidance.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to figure out what I’m here to do, and looking back, I can see the hints all along the way.
My passion for astrology from an early age.
Being drawn to things like tarot cards, palmistry, and other esoteric arts in my 20s.
My desire to understand the world and my place in it.
My extreme sensitivity to the world and to people.
And no matter how many times I ignored the hints, my higher self just kept sending them my way.
Until I finally relented and accepted my calling.
Are you jamming the connection?
So if you can’t hear your higher self, chances are you’re the problem. Sorry.
We’ve spent so long being taught to prioritise other people’s opinions and ideas above our own that we’re all too quick to disregard our own voices.
Like me, you might be avoiding your higher self’s messages because they don’t seem logical or rational to you, you might not like what they’re saying, or maybe you just don’t know how to make sense of the information or what to do with it.
Or maybe you’re blocking your guidance, and there’s tons of ways that we do this.
Keeping busy is one of my favourite ways to block out my higher self, because when I’m all go, go, go, there’s no space for me to hear anything.
We also work pretty hard to keep ourselves distracted, whether that’s numbing ourselves with food or alcohol, scrolling endlessly on social media, filling our spaces with noise and stimulation, or just procrastinating in whatever way we can manage.
Staying distracted takes real focus.
We may also hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, something our higher self would never do.
And as we strive to excel along with the relentless self-criticism, we crowd out any inkling of our higher self’s wisdom.
Constantly talking ourselves down or positioning ourselves as the victim also blocks our higher self because there’s no place for a loving, capable version of ourselves when we’re total failures or utterly helpless.
And the people we surround ourselves with can also help to block out our higher selves.
Maybe it’s their opinions, their values, maybe it’s their constant traumas or demands.
But they leave no room for us to connect with ourselves, not even for a second.
Mostly, I avoid my higher self because I don’t like what I’m hearing.
It knows how magnificent I am and how important the work is that I came here to do – even if I point blank refuse to see it – and it constantly reminds me in so many different ways when I stray off course, which I often do.
Its messages bring up my fears about being seen, being vulnerable, and being wrong.
So I veer off my path any chance I get like a rebellious toddler.
How do you tell if your higher self is talking to you?
So how do you even know when your higher self is talking to you?
Well, everyone’s guidance is different.
So there’s no one way, no right way to experience this.
You’re going to have to learn through trial and error how your higher self likes to communicate with you.
But there are some common features of the higher self and the way it talks to you that many people have experienced.
Firstly, your higher self speaks quietly, gently, softly.
It’s patient and subtle, calm and clear.
It never forces itself into your experience or awareness.
So it’s up to you to pay attention if you want to hear it.
If your world is full of noise and hubbub, you’ll probably miss its nudges.
Secondly, your higher self’s message can appear in many different forms.
You might hear a voice in your head, but many people don’t experience this.
You may experience unusual sensations or physical symptoms.
Intense emotions may arise spontaneously.
You might start feeling odd or different in a way that’s hard to pinpoint.
Images might suddenly appear in your mind’s eye.
You might get a sudden burst of energy or a sudden drop in energy.
You might feel the urge to do or say certain things.
So stay open to “hearing” your higher self in a variety of ways.
Your higher self communicates in signs and symbols
And finally, your higher self most often speaks to you signs and symbols.
Unfortunately, they can be quite cryptic at times, only giving you hints and then leaving it up to you to not only notice the messages, but make sense of them.
Be on the watch for signs like…
1. Strange or intense dreams
Not every dream is a message from your higher self, but usually you’ll be able to tell the ones that are.
When we sleep, our conscious minds switch off, making it harder for us to use logic or distraction to drown out our inner voice.
Pay close attention to dreams with strong emotions, strange elements, significant people, known or unknown, recurring themes or hyper realistic scenarios.
If it feels important to you, it probably is.
And take a closer look at the emotions of the dream instead of focusing on the story to figure out the message.
2. Synchronicities
These “too freaky to just be a coincidence” moments come out of nowhere, connecting the dots in unexpected ways, creating something deeply meaningful, but only to you.
Maybe you’re thinking about an old relationship and then your song comes on the radio.
Or maybe you can’t decide to move to a new city and suddenly you see the new place’s name everywhere you go.
3. Intuitive hits
Hearing your intuition takes practice, just like tuning into your higher self does, but essentially, your intuition receives information that you have no rational way of knowing.
Again, you might hear it, feel it, know it, or see it, but receiving quick blasts of information via your intuition can actually be your higher self trying to get your attention.
4. Sudden insights
Sometimes your mind will suddenly connect the dots between ideas that have been rolling around inside your head.
In a flash of insight, you see things in a completely new way and you’re one step closer to getting the message.
5. Inspired action
Maybe you suddenly feel the urge to ring someone or go to the shops and pick up that item you’ve been hankering after.
Maybe you decide to read a book, go for a walk out of the blue, or create something new.
These compelling nudges that come out of nowhere and spur us into action can hold information or experiences that our higher self wants for us.
6. Weird events
Sometimes you might experience strange things your rational mind can’t explain, like hearing voices or seeing ghosts.
Or maybe the world just looks off somehow, even if you can’t put your finger on it.
I vividly recall having the sensation one day while I was sitting in the bath that I was about to fall through the side of the bath.
Thankfully, I didn’t, but it felt mighty strange.
These off moments help take us out of the flow of everyday life and make space for us to hear our higher selves.
7. Changing relationships
People may suddenly appear in your life just when you need them the most, while others might just slip away.
Because the people around us have such an impact on our growth, our higher selves may rely on others to share important messages with us at the right moment or push us gently in a particular direction.
8. Mirroring or repetition
We may notice different people independently saying the same things either to us or in our vicinity.
These mirrored behaviours are a hint that we need to pay closer attention to something.
You may also see the same information repeated like a song title or location over and over and over until you consciously acknowledge “message received”.
9. Specific thoughts
Sometimes specific thoughts will come into our heads that have meaning to us.
This is less about insights or urges or even intuition and it’s certainly not the egoic type of thought.
It’s just a clear thought that happens to come into our awareness at the right moment to be meaningful to us.
10. Intense emotions
Any intense emotion that seems to come out of nowhere can be an indication that our higher self is trying to talk to us.
Dreams can also create these intense emotions, as can seemingly everyday events.
An important message through a dream
I vividly recall a dream I had shortly before I began writing my book.
As per usual, I was trying to wriggle out of actually taking the idea seriously.
And then one night, I had the most emotionally painful dream I’ve ever had in my entire life.
And just to be clear, I am not understating that one bit.
I dreamt that I met this guy who was young, in great shape, and full of energy.
He was exciting and new, and so I decided to have an affair with him.
But then I realised too late that he was shallow and boring, and I’d just thrown away my incredible relationship with my amazing husband of 20-plus years.
The dream was so awful that I woke up in tears, but then promptly fell back asleep for part two.
In this dream, I was desperately trying to fix what I’d broken with my husband, but rapidly realising there was no coming back from this.
I had screwed everything up royally, and I was heartbroken.
My dream was so vivid and so real and so emotionally intense and painful that I wouldn’t even talk about it, despite my distress.
But I knew it had to mean something, so I mulled over it for the entire day.
And eventually, I figured out the message of the dream, something only I could do.
But when I found it, I knew it was true because it felt right to me.
My higher self was using this dream to say to me, “If you go chasing after the shiny new thing and abandon this current important project, you will regret this decision for the rest of your life.”
I got the message, loud and clear.
And the feeling of that dream still sticks with me to this day.
How to connect with your higher self
So now you’re ready to activate those cheat codes and access the wisdom of your higher self.
How do you actually go about it?
First, some tips.
Don’t worry about getting it wrong.
Your higher self is always there with you, it will never abandon you, it is eternally patient, so just keep trying.
Be patient with yourself as you try to detect your higher self’s communications.
It will happen, and the more you practise, the easier it will get.
Try to come from the calmest place you can manage.
Your higher self is so subtle and quiet that it’s easy for it to get lost if you’re being too active or noisy.
And don’t try too hard.
Let it be easy. Allow it to happen naturally as you practise your awareness.
Have faith that you’re not the only human being in the world who doesn’t have a higher self.
Trust me, you do.
Ways to access your higher self
Okay, so how do you access your higher self?
1. Silence and solitude
Well, silence is one of the most effective ways to connect with your higher self.
As I’ve mentioned, your higher self is quiet and subtle and easy to miss in the hubbub of everyday life.
So making regular time in your days for silence and solitude creates space for you to hear your inner voice.
2. Mindfulness
Mindfulness is also really effective at making room for your higher self to come through.
Being fully present in the current moment, instead of stuck in the past or focused on the future, creates the perfect opening for you to hear your guidance.
Because your higher self basically exists in the current moment, not the past and not the future, so when you’re being mindful, you’re co-existing in the same space as your higher self.
3. Time in nature
Spending time in nature is another great way to connect, partly because of the peace and quiet that often comes along with it, but also because it tends to make you more mindful, more in tune with your surroundings.
You put aside your worries and stresses and just experience the natural world, like the warmth of the sun on your skin, the sound of the wind in the trees, or the dazzling colours of a wildflower or a butterfly.
4. Self-care
Any time you stop to attend to your needs, whether that’s drinking some water, taking a bath, reading a book, or sitting down for just a minute, you’re that little bit closer to your higher self in that moment.
Self-care brings the focus to yourself and what you need right now, slowing down the world around you for long enough for it to be possible to hear your spirit speaking to you.
5. Journalling
Journaling is another time-honoured method for getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper, but it’s also great for processing emotions and inviting your your higher self to speak to you.
You can ask it questions, reflect on a recent situation, or invite it to share whatever is most important right now, and just notice what comes through.
6. Shadow work
Engaging in shadow work, exploring and processing the darker hidden parts of yourself also connects you to your higher self.
All your higher self wants is for you to become aware, to fully embrace every part of you, to understand the world from a broader perspective, and to experience the energetic nature of everyone and everything.
7. Positivity
Keeping a positive focus in your thoughts, emotions, and actions is another great way to make space for your spirit to speak with you.
Our higher self sees everything from a positive point of view because it knows just how amazing we really are and can see our full potential.
So sharing this space with our bigger self makes it so much easier for it to communicate with us.
In a positive state of mind, we’re also less likely to block or override our inner voice.
8. Heart focus
Tuning into your heart while focusing on good feelings can take this practise even further.
9. The flow state
We’re also very connected to our higher selves when we’re in the flow state – we’re absorbed in our work, we’re completely focused on what we’re doing, and everything flows effortlessly.
This is the natural state of our higher selves, so the more time we can spend here, the easier it is for us to hear our guidance.
10. Meditation
Of course, this list wouldn’t be complete without mentioning meditation, because in meditation, our minds slow down, we focus inwardly, and we have nothing to do or achieve.
This gives our higher self the perfect opportunity to deliver its messages to us as we sit calmly in peace and quiet, in whatever way it can.
I’ve created a resource for you that will help you connect with your higher self more easily:
A quick recap
- Your higher self is the part of you that sees things from a broader perspective and has access to all kinds of information
- Listening to your higher self can do many useful things, including warning of danger, helping with decisions, encouraging growth, showing us our purpose
- You may be avoiding or blocking your higher self’s messages through business, distractions, negativity, victimhood, perfectionism and other people
- Your higher self is quiet and gentle, comes in many forms, and often uses signs and symbols to communicate
- You can connect with your higher self in many ways, including silence, mindfulness, solitude, nature, shadow work, journalling, positivity and the flow state
What next?
- Look back over your life and see if you can see times when you got messages or nudges in a particular direction
- Notice the ways you’re avoiding or blocking your higher self, and reduce how much you do this
- Watch out for the different forms that your higher self’s message can take, and see if you can identify how your likes to communicate with you
- Pay attention to any meaningful signs and symbols that come your way, regardless of the form
- Practice hearing and making sense of the messages you’re receiving from your higher self
- Spend more time in solitude, mindfulness, meditation and positivity to make space for your higher self to come through
But before you run away screaming, saying, “Meditation doesn’t work for me,” let me share with you:
- what the true purpose of meditation is – and it’s probably not what you’ve been thinking,
- how succeeding with meditation will completely transform your life,
- and three simple tricks you can use to help you stick with your meditation
And now, for some strange reason, I feel like playing Rollercoaster Tycoon.
And I’ll see you in the next one.
